The comments below were saved from the herpes blog, which is now closed. I regret having to close the blog, but it was severly abused by spammers trying to sell non related products and scams.  I have put the comments under the headings that were on the blog. Headings and subheadings in this color.
Been hurt? A bad experience? Frustrated? Angry about having herpes? Post here.

In this section you can vent your anger and frustration about having herpes and the person who gave it to you.  Click on comments and start posting. Confidential. No personal information is collected.

Stan Says:

September 17th, 2006 at 5:52 pm
 
A while ago I had a very hurtful experience with a girl. We had gone on about 3 dates, with lots of talking and sharing, and nothing physical at all.

Then we were at my place, cuddled on the couch, holding hands. As casually as I could, I told her I had herpes. She said, “Well, lots of people have herpes.” (And I started to breath easier.) And then she said, “But I don’t. And I don’t want to get it!” And she got up and walked out, without looking back or saying anything else. I was crushed, and really hurt. And it didn’t help that we were in a smaller town, where I would see her once in a while.

What it made me do was retreat and isolate a lot. I spent several years alone after that.

Stefi Says:

September 17th, 2006 at 5:58 pm
 
Hi Stan,
Your story really touched me. You see, one time I was in the same situation, and I was that girl. I walked out, without any regard at all for the guy’s feelings. About 10 months later, I ended up getting herpes from a guy who wasn’t nearly as nice, or as honest. Now, years later, after being hurt myself several times, I wish I could apologize to him. He was a nice guy. As I can’t apologize to that guy, I want to apologize to you, on behalf of that girl. What I have learned is that nice people can get it too. Anyone can get it.

Stefi

Cal Says:

September 17th, 2006 at 6:06 pm
 
I have read in one place that about the same number of men as women have herpes. I have read elsewhere that more women than men have it.

I have looked on craigslist.org personals, hoping to find a woman. One time I tried an experiment. In the box at the top I typed “herpes” in the WOMEN SEEKING MEN category, and about 4 ads came up. I did the same in the MEN SEEKING WOMEN category, and about 20 came up! I did if for some other cities as well. For New York, there was ONE women’s ad where the woman said she had herpes, and TWENTY ONE men’s!

Does this mean that men are more honest about mentioning it? Can someone please tell me about this? Are there any statistics? And do more women than men have herpes?

Cal

vicki Says:

September 18th, 2006 at 10:52 pm e
 
Hi, It looks like you all needed a new subject here anyhow, so here I
am to give you one.

I was just lurking around the other night and saw some spam or whatever
you call it, about a place to meet people with an STD or had and STD,
and I noticed some really rude replys.

I just want to make a comment about STD’s.

I always wanted to say this to someone, so after reading the few replys
I thought tonight would be the right time to post this.

I am 40 years old and I have an STD, and you can all judge me if you
want, I have herpes.

I caught it several years ago from a man who is a VERY clean cut man
and is considered to be a very wealthy, professional man, he has very
high morals, etc. but they are not high enough because he did not tell
me that he had herpes, and he gave it to me, at this point I had been
with him for a long time, and I did not end the relationship over this,
but it did put a strain on it, not so much the herpes, but him _not_
telling me upfront…

I am the cleanest person, I have never had a one night stand, I used
condoms all my life, but I had dated this man for a long time (and
never knew) so once in awhile we did have sex without a condom, once,
is all it took. there I was, a very clean, inocent young lady with
herpes, the relationship lasted a few more years, then ended for other
reasons.

I since then married a man who excepted me with my _problem_ and we do
not use condoms, (and that is HIS choice) and as far as we know he
does NOT have herpes. see, I am fortunate, I know it, so I can tell,
and protect my partner, plus I am very _wise_ to STD’s and I am very
glad that herpes is _all_ I have, at first, I kept saying, ‘’why me,
why me'’ but now I am glad to know that I am smart and I know that I
will protect myself from more harmful STD’s ( like aids) and I can
protect my partner, all because I know I have it..

Can YOU say that you KNOW your partner does not have herpes?????????

I was apauled by the comments about STD’s,

My marriage is not looking good these days and we are considering
divorce, which puts me back out in the dating field (with herpes)
the reason I am (not glad) but glad that I know that I have herpes is
because, I KNOW I have herpes, do you know that 1 out of every 4 people
have gental herpes, do you know that 80% of people with herpes do not
even know they have it?
I am one of the lucky ones, I do not get blisters, or any symptoms,
very mild if any. I was tested that is the only way I would know, so,
you could be sleeping with someone who has herpes and you OR him/her
might not know it.

I hate to sound stuck up but, if you could see what I look like, I am
5′4 and I weigh 110 pounds and have long curly hair, and men go nutz
over me. I am NOT blowing my own horn, the point is, I do not _look_
like I have herpes, YOU would never know, so becarefull, and please do
me a favor, don’t be so quick to judge, I sure was not ‘’slummin'’ it
when I got herpes.

take this post for whatever it is worth to you.
insult or educational?

maybe some people will come forth who have herpes.

Vicki….

Stan Says:

September 22nd, 2006 at 2:16 pm
 
I have had herpes for a few years now, and have heard all kinds of harsh comments, including that getting herpes is a punishment from God for having sex without being married.

Well, I actually got herpes from a nice girl who was an avid churchgoer, and I was the first guy she had been to bed with since she split up with her husband. (Who gave her herpes, as a result of his fooling around.)

At that time, I had not been to bed with a woman for 3 years. So neither of us were what would be called, by most people at least, promiscuous.

The fact is, nice people get it too!

Audri Says:

September 23rd, 2006 at 9:23 pm
 
Hello Everyone,
I have had herpes for about 14 years and I’m only 39 years old. I was a recent divorce with a 1 year old son at the time. The very first guy I dated after my divorce was handsome, strong built, and an ex-Marines. We broke up after 3 months of his immature, joking, personality that didn’t click with me. We had sex about 3 times during that short term relationship. He begged to see me some time after that. I kept telling him no,no, no. So he moved to California. One day, he poped back into town and wanted to play basketball and take me to dinner to which I agreed. We ended up going to his hotel to shower before going out to the restuarant for dinner. Honestly,he took his sweaty clothes off, took a shower, came out of the bathroom for my turn to shower. Until he grabbed my hand which made my towel fall to the floor and laid me on the bed and started kissing me. As much as I begged for him not to kiss me, he proceed to kiss me with more force. Then he cupped my mouth so I would not scream and pushed my legs open with his knee. I put one hand between my legs to stop him from penetrating inside me, but he grabed my hand and held it above my head with his other hand around my mouth still cupped and forced himself with a hard thrust inside me. From that night of horror, I contacted herpes three days later. Although I had failed countless times to contact him, I never saw him again. I wanted to…….I had so much anger. I was just recently divorced, and ended up with herpes from someone I had no furture with. I wanted to cry rape because he indeed raped me.But I could not call rape in a small town when I consented to going to the Hotel in the first place. The fear of the newspaper would have ate me alive not to mention the shame that would have draped my life afterwards. 14 years later, I am now in the best relationship I have ever had in my life with a wonderful man who loves the Lord and genuinely loves me. He has asked me if I ever had an STD and I plain out denied it. My fear of losing him in telling him that I have lied to him about ever having an STD. Our relationship has flourished to where he has been talking about marring me. I cannot and will not go to the alter with this holding in my heart. I have asked God to give me strenght in the day I tell him about me having herpes. It’s an issue that I am still dealing with. Pray for me.

Lonely 2 Says:

September 26th, 2006 at 8:23 am e
 
I have been really lonely since I got herpes. I tend to just stay at home a lot, and don’t try very hard to find a girlfriend. I have been rejected because of my herpes a few times, and it hurts.

I have always been honest at telling a woman I have herpes, waiting till after a few dates. And I have been angry about being lonely, if you know what I mean. It feels better to tell someone how I feel, but it doesn’t get me out of my lonliness. Anyone have anything to share that is similar?

Claire Says:

October 6th, 2006 at 7:44 am
 
Dear Lonely 2,

I know how you feel, and I went through the same thing. I had to force myself to get out of my apartment sometimes. I was isolating a lot, and just eating and watching TV all the time.

I did search the net for support, and found this herpes blog. After reading all of the postings, and reading the articles too, I decided to join the dating club, and it has made a huge difference. Even though for now I am just emailing different people, and haven’t actually met someone yet, I am feeling a lot better. At the dating club, there are lots of nice people, and I know I will meet someone soon. I recommend you do the same, or at least have a look at it.

Claire

Pg Says:

October 27th, 2006 at 9:26 am
 
I was diagnosed yesterday. It was horrible. My boyfriend didn’t know he had it. I have some hope after reading this.

Love yourself- Pg

Jason Says:

October 27th, 2006 at 9:46 am e
 
Hi Pg,
There is lots of help on this blog, as long as you check it all out. The articles, Aunt Martha etc, and be sure to check out the herpes herbs. The herbs really do work. Jason

Have you thought of filing suit and getting money from the person who gave you herpes?

Comments about herpes dating and herpes relationships are here for you. There are comments on the legal aspects of herpes too which may interest you.


To read about and order the HERPES HERBS, CLICK HERE.

*****************************************************
newworld Says:

August 23rd, 2006 at 10:33 am
 
I have heard people are pleased with the answers and advice they get regarding herpes relationships from the Ask Aunt Martha herpes advice column.

You can also get answers from other readers of this herpes blog. Just post a question.

Chevy guy Says:

September 2nd, 2006 at 10:06 am
 
This question is going out to anyone who is out there.

Is there anyone out there who has been in a relationship for quite a while, say 5 years, and then had their spouse suddenly get herpes?

Tyler Says:

September 5th, 2006 at 11:30 pm
 
Is it possible to spread herpes type 1 to someone\’s anus? if so would valtrex be a drug to consider taking to prevent outbreaks in the anus region, and also the l-lysine tablets I take for my type 1, could it be effective in reducing outbreaks us of herpes in the anal region as well?

Nice girl, honestly Says:

September 11th, 2006 at 2:23 pm
 
I am a nice girl by most standards. I am 24 and have only been to bed with 5 guys. I only want to have sex with someone I really care about, and who cares about me, and the guys I have been with have all been nice guys. However, somehow, I have gotten herpes. As far as we can determine, my current boyfriend does not have it, and I have been with him for two years. He even had a test.

Any advice from anyone as to how I might have got it?

Aunt Martha Says:

September 13th, 2006 at 12:28 pm
 
You may have had herpes before you met your present boyfriend. It may have been dormant for years, and is only surfacing now because of some new factors. These new factors could be stress or overwork for instance. Have you moved or changed jobs for instance. Are you more serious about this guy than the others? If you have been thinking about marriage, that can be stressful.

Also, you or your boyfriend may have had coldsores that have spread to the genital area. There are various scenarios. Here’s one: Say you had coldsores, and you kissed your boyfriend, and then he performed oral sex on you.

I hope this is helpful, and you can read some of the articles on this herpes blog for more information.

Sincerely,
Aunt Martha

Nice girl, honestly Says:

September 16th, 2006 at 4:59 pm
 
Thanks Aunt Martha. Unfortunately it seems like my boyfriend and I will be separating now. He says it is only partly because I questioned him about herpes.

Anyway, long story short, do you know anything about the herpes dating site that is linked to HERPES DATING on this blog? Or does anyone else?

Or, does anyone out there know of any tips or advice on herpes dating?

Thanks.

Carl Says:

September 17th, 2006 at 5:01 pm
 
Hi Nice Girl,

I have heard good things about the herpes dating site on this blog. Myself I want to find someone else with herpes, and then I won’t have to worry about telling her, and I won’t have to worry about outbreaks. There are lots of nice people with herpes, so don’t worry. Good luck to you. Carl.

Jessica Says:

September 17th, 2006 at 10:32 pm
 
I contracted herpes along with HPV . I will be honest it was beause of the lifestyle I chose to live in my past. I met this guy and because of fear of rejection I never told him that I had Herpes. I got pregnant by him and I was filled by guilt because I knew I had to tell him. I told him one night and I just cried, he was upset but handled it so gently. Even throughout all that we continued having sex I had a miscarriage. We broke up I get a call from him a week ago saying he think he contracted herpes from me. I cried because im use to people hurting me not the other way around Now he has to live with this I lay everything to God but How do I forgive myself? Then to he was cheating on me through the course of our relationship. 9 times out of 10 I gave this to him. but its questionable. I told him about it already it wasn’t like he didn’t know.

Craigs poster Says:

September 23rd, 2006 at 9:32 am
 
Hi, I have been using craigslist to try to find a girlfriend with herpes.

So far I haven’t met anyone, and have had only rude replies. It is discouraging. Has anyone here tried the dating link on this blog? I am very lonely, and try to keep busy with fitness and sports and other activities to fill the void, but it doesn’t really fill the void. I have been lonely for a long time.

Lonely 2 Says:

September 25th, 2006 at 9:03 am
 
Hi, I have been lonely too, and when I feel lonely, I start to get depressed as well. What I do, as much as I can, is force myself to get out and go for a walk. I am in the city, and as I walk along the sidewalk, I count the people I pass, and think to myself that every 5th person I pass, has herpes like me. So I am not alone. (I count only adults) I have also found a lot of comfort in reading some of the articles here, particularly the article called “It’s not the end of the world”.

I'm Mad! Says:

October 11th, 2006 at 12:19 pm
 
I’m angry about getting herpes! I have thought of trying to get revenge, but didn’t do anything. And the guy who gave me herpes has lots of money, and he is a celebrity too. I have thought of trying to embarass him somehow, or blackmail him, and get some money out of him.

I can’t help it, but I am really mad.

julia Says:

October 17th, 2006 at 10:28 am
 
i know i have herpes..because i read up on the information. but i have not been checked out yet. i am nervous to go and am embarrassed to tell ANYONE. i feel very alone and have many outbreaks that are visible. what do i do and how do i get medicine?

Ann Says:

October 19th, 2006 at 6:07 pm
 
You can get discreet mail order service for the special herbs by going to this website:
http://www.special-herbs.com

The herbs do work. I know from experience that they do.


To read about and order the HERPES HERBS, CLICK HERE.

Have you had success at preventing outbreaks? Or a question? Comments about herpes herbs and prescription drugs here.

Having herpes outbreaks can be very discouraging. If you have anything to share about this, please post here.
*********************************************

Rose Says:

August 3rd, 2006 at 5:50 am
 
I have been using the special herbs for several years. They are wonderful. I used to get an outbreak monthly. Now I go months without getting an outbreak thanks to these herbs. I actually can’t remember the last time I had an outbreak!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MES Says:

August 6th, 2006 at 2:36 pm
 
These herbs are the cure all!!!! I was diagnosed with HSV II in April 2000. I was totally devastated, I searched the internet for support and an alleviation from the outbreaks. I found these \”Special Herbs\” and they are the best thing on the market for outbreaks. My initial outbreak was horrible and I actually found these herbs during that time. I received them so quickly in the mail and started taking the immediately. My outbreak cleared up and I have only had 2 since then….I have been outbreak free for 5 years!!!!!!! I give full credit the special herbs! I also work in the medical field in a hospital environment and these herbs are an excellent immune system booster and I believe they have kept me cold and flu free as well. My husband has HSV I and takes these herbs too and he been cold sore free for well over a year!!! I highly recommend these herbs to anyone battling with outbreaks from HSV I or HSV II, they will either completely stop the outbreaks or drastically reduce the duration of the outbreak and the frequency of them. TRY THEM!!!!

RS Says:

August 8th, 2006 at 7:44 am
 
I have been using the special herbs for about three years and have found them very beneficial in dealing with this ailment. Steve is very professional and helpful to deal with and his product has lived up to its advertising claims in my case. His product is packaged in a confidential manner and I always receive them within a few days of placing my order. I would recommend their use to others.

dee Says:

August 11th, 2006 at 3:02 pm
 
I have not used this, but has anyone thought about the shedding???? Has anyone even looked into it? It makes you contagious even when you do not have a breakout, which is what did me in. Not knowing about the shedding. Since I accepted who I was with had it, with only the knowledge that as long as there was not a breakout , I would be fine. Well I was not exposed to a breakout, but I still got it. and it took years before I even had a breakout myself, which still could have made me contagious without a breakout. The piont here is to get ALL of the info from your doctor. Even the Valtrex ads say you are not 100 percent safe to your partner. And no need to point out a proganda sales pitch to get you to take it. Through your insurance, if you have it, it is your prescription co- pay. I was diagnosed last year. No swab was taken to determine if it was I or II , but non the less it is genital and it herpes. So August was the first. Then Novemeber was the second, Then January. Then March. I got a new doctor who was very informative, I went on a daily therapy and have not had a break out since . I am not here to promote the drug, but I am here due to an email that asked me to come here and share my situation. If this is an open forum, then my opinion is there for someone to think about it as well.

newworld Says:

August 11th, 2006 at 6:04 pm
 
Hello Dee,
There is some valuable insight on viral shedding on the “Ask Aunt Martha” herpes advice column. You can click on the link to find out more.

dee Says:

August 12th, 2006 at 6:19 am
 
Thank you, I read what Ask Aunt Martha had to say. But I decided to look for info myself. This is a link to a very informative site. Which confirms my suspicions. I can tell when I am shedding, for it feels like a breakout is going to happen but it does not, therefor I am contagious. So what this means is that my daily therapy is going to getting upped in dosage. Which my doctor said may happen. I will not put anyone in danger till I KNOW I am not going to put any one at risk. The link is www.herpes.org/herpesinfo/asymptomatic.shtml . My only other concern from what I read was that I could have carried this virus through my pregnancy. Just to give a time line of how long it took, and not really knowing when I got it, my son is now 6 years old. There is the worry that he could still be in danger. Since I did not know or have symptoms till a year ago. My breakout is not in the genital track, but in the groin area. Maybe that is still considered the genital track, and I am mis understanding. But I am fortunate to have a doctor who can tell me

John Says:

August 12th, 2006 at 10:32 am
 
I found that the herbes worked very well. I also believe that the thought of taking something mentally helps to stop the outbreaks. I thought that once I had the “H” I wouldn’t be able to have a normal sex life or relationship. I had a guilt complex so when the thought of a sexual interlude was presented I would almost immediately have an outbreak. I suffered this for twelve years. Then I met a lady that accepted the problem and showed no fear of it, which gave me the confidence that I wasn’t a lepper after all. I was honest with her when I felt it may be dangerous to be intemate. It has been almost four years and my partner is herpe free and I may have an outbreak once a year. Guilt and fear of an outbreak plays a large role in causing one. The herbes also build confidence as well as the immune system! I absolutely recommend this product for all your ailments, I haven’t been sick with anything since I’ve used this product!!!

Jane Says:

August 27th, 2006 at 12:24 pm
 
What is the name of these special herbs you guys are talking about?

newworld Says:

August 27th, 2006 at 1:04 pm
 
Hello, The herbs are actually called the “Special Herbs” and you can get them from this website:

http://www.herpes-herbs.com

You can also click on the link on the right side of this herpes blog page.
Steve

Jerry Says:

September 1st, 2006 at 6:10 pm
 
OUTBREAK FREE FOR 8 YEARS!

Years ago I was interested in the benifits of Cayenne pepper, so I started taking cayenne capsuls after reading a book from the Cayenne Trading Co. I don\’t know that it helped anything however I had been getting simplex two outbreaks 5 or 6 times a year, so out of furstration I opened a cayenne capsule took a little cayenne on my finger added a little water and made a paste out of it and put it on my sore, It burned like H___ , so I did it again the next day, did not burn as bad,
I had another outbreak about a month later, I applied the cayenne again, It did not burn half as bad, the third minor outbreak I applied it again, It did not hurt. And have not had a breakout in 8 years now.

This worked for me, and it may very well work for simplex one, I don\’t know, never had it but I would give it a try. Regular cayenne pepper may not work, and you may have to get some from the net or a health food store.

I hope this can help someone out there, If so let the blog know.

Healthy Girl Says:

September 11th, 2006 at 2:28 pm
 
I have had herpes for 4 years now, and after initially getting outbreaks every few weeks, it gradually slowed down. And I found that if I exercised, got lots of rest, and ate healthy foods, that I would have an outbreak only once every 3 or 4 months.

I also learned about which foods to avoid, and avoided junk food. But I heard about the herpes herbs, and tried them. Now if I do all of the above, and take the herbs, I don’t get any outbreaks at all. I really recommend them if you want your life to get normal again. You can get them here:
http://www.herpes-herbs.com

Rebecca

Robert Says:

September 27th, 2006 at 7:01 pm
 
Hey Healthy Girl,
How did you learn about which foods to avoid? I have heard it is best to avoid peanuts.

MES Says:

October 14th, 2006 at 4:43 pm
 
More proof that the Special Herbs work……
As you may have read in my previous thread, these Herbs are the cure all. Well, I ran out and have been so busy with work that I did not order my refil in time….it’s been about two weeks since I have taken the herbs and now I am starting to get symptoms of an outbreak…..YIKES. But, I know that my order will arrive soon and that they will really help with my outbreak once they arrive.
You have got to try these! I promise they work!

To read about and order the HERPES HERBS, CLICK HERE.

To go to AUNT MARTHA, click here.